


The American Civil War Hetalia Style

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: American Civil War, Angst and Humor, Brother Feels, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know America fought for his indpenence from Big Brother Britian. Well there was also another war that America was involved in that wasn't due to his 'I'm the hero!' philosphy. It was a war between The Union and the Confederecy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Year was 1861...

Chapter One  
The year was 1861...

Britain was enjoying a cup of tea when he found himself thinking of America. Seventy three years had passed since America had claimed he no longer wished to be Britain's younger brother. Britain had been devastated and refused to allow it to happen, starting a war that ended in America's favor. Britain had wished America would, just once, call him 'Big Brother', but he knew America would never do that. Even if he were on his death bed America would say "Hey what's wrong with the jerky limey?" Britain sighed and put down his tea cup. France, who had been quietly watching Britain's strange behavior laughed and said "Mon Ami crumpet farce you seem to be staring off into space!"

Britain turned abruptly to France and asked "Did you just call me a crumpet stuffer?"

"Mon Cher that got your attention did it not Britain?"

Britain decided to ignore France and his unwanted French affectionate words. He took to looking out the window and with another sigh his thoughts, without his consent, returned to worrying about America. France considered insulting him but he felt something was truly troubling Britain. "Britain", he asked, "Is something wrong?" Britain looked at France, a tad thankful for his concern and said

"I...I was just thinking of America."

Frances eyes widened "America? That garcon stupide kicked your ass in 1783!"

Britain glared at France "Shall we take a look at your military history you cheese eating surrender monkey!"

"Je vous," France said "You still care for him. Droit?"

Britain crossed his arms "And...well why wouldn't I he is my little brother even if he no longer wishes to be, wouldn't you feel the same for...ah whats his name...oh yes Canada?"

France sniffled "Que c'est beau your brotherly love in so beautiful!"

Britain rolled his eyes and asked "Would you not feel the same way for Canada?"

Franc tilted his head "Canada?"

"Do you not know who Canada is you snail snapper!"

France gasped " Votre si me'chant! Of course I remember Canada how could I forget someone with nearly as much gorgeousness as me!"

Britain yelled "Will you stop speaking in French I can barely understand you!"

France flipped his hair flamboyantly "I'm speaking a majority of your brutish English, but French is so much more magnifique I can't help but say French words every now and then!" Britain was growing tired of arguing with France and went back to ignoring him.

France frowned "I'm sorry Britain... you're really concerned... you know my boss is sending troops into Mexico,he hopes to set up a French empire there. I could check on America...If you want?"

Britain's eyes sparkled "Really? Frenchie old boy you'd do that for me?"

"Mon Ami of course what are friends for, just as long as you never call me 'Frenchie old boy' again!"

Britain nodded "Its a done deal France!"

France said goodbye to Britain and went off to his place to prepare for the trip to Mexico. Britain had heard America had been doing well internationally. In the world trade he was doing superb. Britain knew America had grown and he could not wait to hear from France how America was. Of course, he was a tad jealous and a bit angry over America's success in a short amount of time without him, but America was still his baby brother, at least in Britain's mind. He was waited eagerly for France's return on his ship to report back to his boss, weeks passed. Britain was working on his needle work while enjoying his afternoon tea when a turbulent looking France burst through his door.

"France old chap!" Britain began " I see you're back from Mexico so..."

France cut off his sentence "Mon Cher Britain..."

Britain surveyed France's face and asked "What is it France?"

France got right to the point "Britain, America is at war!"

Britain dropped his unfinished needlework "

What!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary-  
> Limey- Offensive term for a Brit  
> French terms:
> 
> Mon ami crumpet farce- my crumpet stuffing friend  
> Mon cher- my dear  
> garcon stupide-stupid boy  
> Je vous- I see  
> Droit - right?  
> Que c'est beau!- How beautiful!  
> Votre simerchant!- you're so mean!  
> magnifique- gourgeous


	2. One Year Earlier

At Britain’s house things seemed to be settling down. The second Opium War with China has just ended. Britain had won against China and now China had to cook for him and France whenever they wanted. China was busy trying to get over the century of humiliation and still is after the war. On the other hand, across the Atlantic things seemed to be heating up for America. America had just gotten a new boss and his first thought about his new boss was ‘Hey this bearded dude is freaking tall, even without that lame hat!’ Though after his American like thoughts he felt something strange about the guy who had become president, like that this man would be a man to bring great change to America and his home. America hoped that his new boss would make him stronger so he could be as bloodthirsty as he wanted…I mean, bring democracy to the rest of the world

Nearly a year went by into the President dude’s (as America calls him) presidency and things seemed to be going fairly well. America was getting impatient over waiting for great change as impatient as a German waiting in line at the grocery store. A store where a Spaniard is the cashier, a Greek is at the front of the line, and Italian cut in line, and an even more impatient Austrian is in front of the German. America woke up one morning feeling a little strange. He knew he wasn’t sick, he was America after all and didn’t get sick. Fog Breather Britain may be prone to it but t America. The day was February 9th 1861 and America had a feeling, a feeling that something was missing or had been taken.

He got out of bed and got ready for the day; being a country was a lot of work especially a big, powerful, heroic country like himself. He ate two leftover McDonalds hamburgers for breakfast, even though McDonalds didn’t exist in 1861; he did because he’s America and can do whatever he wants BEOTCH, or however you would say that like an American. Anyway, when America opened his door he was met by a man who looked strangely familiar…He had brownish blonde hair, blue eyes, and well to get to the point he looked just like America except his hair was slicked back and instead of glasses his wore spectacles.

America laughed “Dude! You look pretty cool ‘cept your hair looks like a German’s what’s up with that and those specs are so uncool!” The man that looked like America seemed a bit irritated at America’s comment but remained composed and carefully slicked back a hair that fell out of place. “May I come in?” the man asked. America thought the man that looked like him talked a little funny, but that’s what everyone else thought about America. America said “Sure man come in!” The man walked into America’s house and looked around. “So I’m America, dude what’s your name?” The man didn’t respond. He stood silently as if pondering something. Due to America’s inability to read the mood he didn’t notice.

The man walked right up to America and they stood face to face. America chuckled slightly “Dude why so close what’s up ma…” and before America could finish his sentence the man punched America in his stomach. America fell to the floor, trying to catch his breath he gasped “What…ah…the hell!” The man lifted his boot and stomped on America’s head, pounding America’s body against the hard floor. America went into a fit of coughing then asked “…who ah… the hell are you?” The man smiled and kicked America swiftly in the chest. America coughed up blood and tried to get to his feet. As America’s legs shook and he slowly rose to his feet, the man pushed him down “On the ground is where ya belong damn Yankee.” The man tilted his head and stared at the heavily breathing, bloody, and bruised America “I’m goin’ to call ya Union from now on.” The men knelt down and picked up America by his hair. Blood was dribbling down America’s chin and he was struggling to breath. He was going to say something cool and heroic but all he could manage was a few coughs and a slight whimper from the pain in his chest. The man laughed gripping America’s hair tighter “I’m the Confederacy.”


	3. Back at Britain's place

The Year was 1861…or so…  
France caught his breath and said it again “Mon cher Britain, America is at war.” Britain picked up his needlework, put it in the table, and dropped into his chair. “America…Is at war.” France nodded “I’m afraid so Mon Ami.” Britain thought for a moment. He knew no European countries had declared war on America, maybe one of the Nordic countries or an Asian country. Maybe China had decided to attack America after his failure in the Opium wars. Britain new timid Canada would never attack America, “Who France…who put out a declaration of war against America!” Britain asked  
“The Confederacy” France replied.  
“Who’s the Confederacy?” Britain asked  
France fixed his hair which was untraditionally, not magnifique, as France would say. “Who is the Confederacy?!” Britain demanded

“Calm down!” France said “I was just trying to fix my hair.”  
“I don’t give a damn about your hair what of America!”  
France said “The Confederacy is America’s twin brother!”  
Britain rolled his eyes “Be serious France, America doesn’t have a twin brother he’s not Italy!”  
France shook his head “I am serious! There’s a guy who looks just like America, calling himself The Confederacy!”  
Britain laughed uneasily “ha-ha…come now France you can’t be serious it’s probably America playing some damn stupid joke…”  
France sighed “Mon Ami stop being in denial…”  
Britain frowned “well to figure out this out just call a meeting of the countries!”  
“But Britain…” France began “Japan’s being a shut-in as usual, China’s still pissed from when you went to war with him, Germany’s busy in the Danish-Prussian War, and Italy…is well Italy.”  
“What of Russia and Canada?” Britain asked

“ I do not think Canada’s entered the war just yet and Russia…well that guy’s just plain creepy.”  
“Call Canada and Russia and tell them to come over to my place!” Britain ordered  
“I do not think phones existed in 1861.” France pointed out  
Britain yelled “Then send them a damn telegraph!”  
Shortly after France telegraphed Russia and Canada (for the sake of sticking with the time period) Russia and Canada arrived at Britain’s house. “Privet Britain”, Russia said cheerfully, “Why such the urgent message it isn’t because you want to become one with me is it?”

Britain, who was pacing, replied “Of course not you Russian Wanker!”  
“What’s a Wanker?” Russia asked childishly  
“Stop this non-sens!” France demanded “We must focus on the issue at hand!”  
“Which is what?” Russia asked in his childish tone  
“Damn you!” yelled Britain  
Canada, who was tentatively hanging out in the background, said “A…America…America is at war…right?” Everyone turned their attention to Canada (which probably never has happened and probably never will) “That…That’s why you called us all here…” he said in an even quieter tone. France put his arm around Canada “Vos Enfants at least Canada can be serious and concentrate!” Canada shrugged out of Frances embrace and Britian asked “What do you know about the situation Canada your house is close to America’s right?”

“Yes” Canada said in a near whisper “You see America’s house split after they had a number of disagreements separating the northern half and southern half of his place. America’s the northern half and this one guy who calls himself The Confederacy is the southern half. The Confederacy beat up America so they declared war.” Canada wasn’t used to the attention so after his explanation his ability to create presence took too much out of him so he had to sit down. Russia smiled “He beat up America, This Confederacy guy must be pretty badass da?”  
Ignoring Russia, Britain asked “Have you seen this Confederacy guy?”  
Canada nodded “Well my house is to the northern part of America’s place so I only saw him once when I visited America to see how he was doing.”  
“How’s he doing?” Britain asked concerned  
Canada frowned “at this moment not very well…” Britain was about to ask another question when his phone rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> Wanker- offensive term used by Brits…yeah I’m not saying what it means but you can guess or just Google it.  
> Russian terms- French terms-  
> Privet- Hello non-sens- nonsense  
> Da- Yes Vos Enfants- You children


	4. Phone Call for Britain

Britian picked up his phone, he had a faint hope that it was America, he asked “Hello this is Britain.” The phone was silent for a while and then a voice answered back “Hello Britain…I’m The Confederacy.” Britain gripped the phone tightly and he found he had lost the ability to form words. France asked “Britain who’s one the phone?”  
Britain gulped and then uttered “It’s the Confederacy…”  
Frances face became stern; he asked “What does he want?”  
Britain took a deep breath and asked “Alright Confederacy why did you call me?” A soft laugh echoed from the phone and the Confederacy replied “There’s no need to be so nervous Britain I just have a favor to ask.”  
“What kind of favor?” Britain asked

The Confederacy got right to the point “I just want you to recognize me as a country and for you to assist me in this here war if I ask for it…ask France, Russia, and Canada if they will do the same as well.”  
Britian repeated what the Confederacy had asked and France said right away “No way am I getting mixed up in this merde!”   
Canada nodded and said softly yet kind of assertively “I care about America, though he can be idiot sometimes; I think this war is America’s war and we should stay out of it.”

Britain had no idea what to do; he then turned to Russia to hear his, probably creepy, opinion. Russia smiled his childish smile and said “I think I will support America… theoretically of course. I’d prefer to take care of America with my pickaxe myself then have someone else… zabotitʹsya of him!” Russia was then holding his pickaxe, admiring it and France shouted “Could you stop being creepy for one minute!”  
Britain muffled his hand over the phone as he shouted back “Could you two be quiet for just a few minutes!” Russia and France became quiet and Britain was finally able to think. “Could you give me a moment to think Confederacy?”  
“Of course…” The Confederacy replied

Britain thought he’d probably need more than a moment to think, and then the Confederacy added “I’ll give you a moment Big Brother.” Britain gasped… had… had The Confederacy just called him…Big Brother. No one had called him Big Brother since America had when he’d been little. Britain had always been the little brother with France and Scotland being a pain in his ass. He had been overjoyed when he found America and he became his little brother, and then the revolutionary war shattered his dream to pieces. He still missed America dearly, yet America would never come back to him…no matter how much Britain wanted him to. This Confederacy guy was America’s twin brother and he had just recognized Britain as his Big Brother, so why not recognize him as a country and why not help him beat America in their war. Britain felt a bit guilty with that thinking since he had been so concerned about America now he was considering helping The Confederacy defeat him. Britain was…conflicted.  
France said “Mon Ami what are you doing to do?”

“Yes Big Brother Britain what are you going to do are you going to help me or aren’t you? The Confederacy asked  
Britain replied “I might help you…mind you I say might I haven’t completely decided yet.”  
“Take your time Big Brother I can hold out against that idiot until you have decided…good day.” The Confederacy then hung up the phone. Britain put his phone down and France shouted “Britain you idiot are you even considering helping that guy!” Canada was sitting quietly in a corner but he couldn’t take any more of this nonsense. He put his polar bear down, got up, and socked Britain in the nose. Britain’s nose started bleeding, but he just stared dumbfounded at Canada, France and Russia didn’t know what to say either. Canada yelled “Vous foutu salaud comment pouvez-vous tourner le dos à l'Amérique! C'est ton petit frère et c'est mon grand frère aussi! Je suis rester en dehors de cette guerre, mais vous ne pouvez pas aider les ennemis de l'Amérique!”  
“What?” Britain asked

France translated “He said ‘You damn bastard how could you turn your back on America! He's your little brother and he's my big brother too! I'm staying out of this war, but you can't help America's enemy’ though he said it in French”  
Britain was a bit taken aback by Canada’s outburst. Canada spoke both French and English. He spoke English by majority, but started speaking in French whenever he was really angry.  
Britain tried to explain himself as he cleaned his bleeding nose “America said he doesn’t want to be my little brother anymore…”  
“Is that any reason to go to war with him again?” France asked  
Britain said “Well the Confederacy…He’s…”  
Russia interrupted “I heard on the phone The Confederacy call you ‘Big Brother’ da?”  
Britian refused to look at France, Canada, or Russia. “Mon Cher Britain…you’ll have to make a decision sooner or later of what you’re going to do.”  
“I know…” Britain replied, barely over a whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> French terms: - Russian terms:-  
> Merde- crap zabotitʹsya- take care  
> Mon Ami- My friend Da- Yes


	5. The First Battle of Bull Run

merica watched as his troops stood ready for battle. The Day was July 21th 1861 in Virginia. They had marched from Washington to meet the Confederate army. His troops stood ready under Brig. General Irvin McDowell, as America watched on from a nearby hill. His troops attacked the Confederate left flank and all seemed to be going well. The Confederacy stood next to America with a stern look on his face and determined look in his eye. America didn’t care; he slapped The Confederacy across the face across the face. The Confederacy would just laugh at America’s little attempts at an attack. His army seemed to be falling back. The Union seemed to be winning.

Then the Confederate reinforcements came and Colonel Thomas Jackson boosted the soldier’s moral, including the Confederacy’s. He kicked America of his feet then began stomping on his chest. America could not bear the immense pressure The Confederacy’s boot was putting on his already cracked ribs. America had been feeling pretty down lately. Firstly because his twin brother was an ass who didn’t even try to listen to him, and instead beat the shit out of him. He attempted to push the Confederacy’s foot off his chest but it would not budge. America’s boss said they should quickly take out the bulk of the Confederacy’s army, open a way to Richmond, and then the war would be over with quick. It had looked so easy with colored drawings and game pieces representing America and the Confederacy. America had been the coolest piece the car while the Confederacy had been the stupid thimble and no one ever wanted to play the thimble. But the thimble was tougher then it seemed. The south mainly relied on agriculture for its economy and that made the Confederacy have more muscle then America. 

His soldiers were fighting bravely even though it was their first time going up against the Confederate troops. America tried to hold his own until the Confederacy landed a swift kick to his right side. America fell to his knees out of breath. He could hear the shouts and screams of his soldiers getting their moral trampled on as their flank broke. Brig. General McDowell called for a retreat. America stumbled to his feet only to be hit on the side of his head with the blunt of the Confederacy’s rifle. His army had been shattered and the battle was now against them in retreat. He started to crawl across the ground. The Confederacy laughed like he was seeing a grand spectacle. So this was the supposed strong America the unbeatable, unbreakable, United States of America? And here he was crawling on the ground like an insect before the Confederacy’s feet. He found it all so very hilarious. 

America returned to Washington bloodies and bruised. He scratched angrily at the bandages on the back of his neck and he stood next to Brig. General McDowell. They both were standing in front of Mr. President Dude and he did not look happy. Having to stand in front of a freakishly tall bearded dude with a top hat that made him even taller was quite intimidating. America felt like he was going to be scolded like he was a child again and he had done something he thought he’s get in trouble for and Britain would scold him. Mr. President Dude sighed and said, “We know understand that this war will be a long and costly one. I do not blame you for the defeat at Bull Run America; you fought hard. I hope you are prepared for the many battles that will continue. It will be hard and it will take much out of you.”

America nodded and tried to make his voice sound hopeful and full of energy as it once had, “No problem I’ve got this!” Mr. President Dude (aka. Lincoln) smiled softly at the young nations resolve. Brig. General on the other hand looked a bit nervous. Mr. President Dude’s attention turned to the general and his brow furrowed. He said, “You are relieved of your command of the Union Army Brig. General McDowell.” The general’s face was grim as he left the room and a different man then entered. Mr. President Dude then introduced him, “America this is Maj. Gen. George B. McClellan he is going to reorganize and train your troops. We can’t have a bunch of boys running around with gun’s untrained now can we? The next battle we take part in will be one that is won in our favor.” The Major left and America turned to leave to until Mr. President Dude said, “Oh yes I almost forgot Your Younger brother will be paying you a visit.” America smiled a small smile at the thought of getting to see Canada. It was a refreshing change from the war and fighting. It was also nice to have a brother who didn’t constantly kick his ass.  
________________________________________


End file.
